


We Could Be Stars

by so_real



Series: you're not a star, you're the whole firmament [4]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Cat Familiar! San, Confessions, Drowning, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Good Boy! Yunho, Haircuts, Kissing, M/M, MerMay, Merman! Seonghwa, Prequel, Strangers to Lovers, Witch! Hongjoong, but like barely, no need to have read the other parts to understand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/so_real/pseuds/so_real
Summary: 'When Hongjoong inherited the mansion by the sea, he almost didn't take it. Because honestly, it seemed like far too big a space for just San and him. He'd considered selling it and forgetting about it, staying in his shoebox apartment that could barely fit him at all, when Yunho had told him to think of all the kitchen space he'd have if he moved, and not two months later he was finishing putting up the last protective charms on the walls.'ORThe tale of how Hongjoong and Seonghwa came to be
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: you're not a star, you're the whole firmament [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1642648
Comments: 10
Kudos: 156





	We Could Be Stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sharkhwa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkhwa/gifts).



> hi! this was supposed to be the entry for day 7 of seongjoong week and also my contribution to MerMay this year. in light of recent events, the publication dates for sj week were postponed, which is something i fully support, so i am posting this today. also in light of recent events i would like to please ask you to sign petitions, donate or do whatever you can to contribute to the BLM movement, [here](https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/) you can find the link to the BLM carrd with info on how you can contribute, lists of petitions to sign, and bail funds to donate to. if you enjoy my works, please do this.
> 
> anyway, please enjoy this!
> 
> title is from Stars by Alessia Cara

When Hongjoong inherited the mansion by the sea, he almost didn't take it. Because honestly, it seemed like far too big a space for just San and him. He'd considered selling it and forgetting about it, staying in his shoebox apartment that could barely fit him at all, when Yunho had told him to think of all the kitchen space he'd have if he moved, and not two months later he was finishing putting up the last protective charms on the walls.

The first few months were a bit lonely, just him, San, and the potions and spells he managed to create. Yunho came by as often as he could, and they would go explore down by the sea, picking up ingredients that they thought could be useful later.

"It would be so cool if we could go underwater," Yunho complained one day. "There's so many interesting and unexplored things down there."

Hongjoong nodded, and started trying to create a spell that would allow him to do just that.

He met Seonghwa around then. 

Six or seven months after he'd moved, on a slow August afternoon, Hongjoong was down by the cove that could only be accessed from the mansion, water up to his shoulders as he steeled himself to go under the surface, eyeing the runes scribbled on his arm suspiciously. 

This was his fourth attempt, and all previous variations of the spell had ended with him coughing up salt water and heaving for air. This time it ought to work, he told himself, and took a deep breath before diving down in the cool water. 

He kept his eyes closed, at first, focusing, before he released all the air in his lungs in a string of bubbles. The purpose of the spell was a supposedly easy one: make Hongjoong be able to breathe underwater. The process of perfecting it, though, not so much. He screwed his eyes shut, waiting until his lungs were burning, and then, finally, took a deep inhale. 

He immediately regretted it. 

Water filled his mouth and he immediately felt the urge to throw up. His eyes opened wide and he scrambled to get on the surface again, limbs flailing around, but the sway of the waves had dragged him under, and he was having trouble moving while his chest constricted in pain. He felt his eyes sting from the salt in the water, and his vision started to go blurry the longer he stayed under. 

He gave one last useless kick before he felt his consciousness begin to drift away, and out of the corner of his eye, saw a dark figure swimming towards him at a speed that definitely wasn't human. _A shark_ , he told himself, but he was too far gone to do anything. He just prayed he'd go unconscious before it got to him as his vision faded to black and he lost touch with the world.

He awoke with a wheeze, sputtering water all over himself, the ache on his chest still there, but duller, and his head feeling like it had been filled with bees. His back was resting on what felt like a wet rock, and there was a weight on his chest that removed itself away when he arched forward to lurch more water, and Hongjoong suddenly had the feeling that he wasn't alone. 

He opened his eyes, breathing laboriously, and found another set of terrified eyes staring right at him. The owner of the eyes had golden skin and dark, long hair that fell on his shoulders and down his back like silk, and was perhaps the most beautiful person Hongjoong had ever seen. 

_An angel_ , he thought, brain still not fully operational, and then he opened his mouth to say something, thank the boy, but the boy's eyes filled with terror, and he dove right back into the sea.

Hongjoong could only catch sight of the end of a black fishtail mottled with with white scales. His savior wasn't an angel after all, but something more dangerous, if he was to judge by the stories he'd heard.

He managed to climb down from the rock the merman had placed him in, and half-walked, half-swum back to the shore, and then dragged himself up to the mansion, where he fell on bed and didn't raise for nearly a day, San coming to sleep with him and nuzzling under his chin when he felt his mood.

To say Hongjoong became obsessed with mermaids after that is a bit of an understatement. After that first day, he went down to the cove every day, in hopes of seeing the merman again, to thank him, to get to know him, and spent every moment he could doing research on merfolk, trying to find something that could help him in his quest.

He would sit in the same rock the merman had laid him on, waiting for hours, eyes searching the sea for any flash of black, but it was all in vain. The merman never came. Hongjoong would think about the fear in his eyes when he had looked at him, and feel something twist in his gut, something that felt similar to guilt, but that he had no reasoning for.

It took a few weeks before he mustered up enough courage to try his underwater spell again. In doing research about merfolk, he'd found some useful runes, and he thought those, combined with the ones he already had, might do the trick this time. So it was a still warm mid September afternoon when he went down to the cove again, and instead of sitting on the rock like he usually did, he took off his shoes and walked straight into the water, cool but not excessively cold, like it would start to get when Autumn came.

He slowly made his way inside the sea until the water reached just underneath his chest, and stayed there, letting the rock of the waves calm him for a while. He'd thought, after last time, he'd be more afraid of the sea, but the feeling of the water around him oddly grounded him. 

He dragged a thumb over the runes running up his left forearm, and he took a deep breath, submerging himself in the water once again. He kept his eyes closed, like last time, but this time, he kept his feet firmly planted on the soft sand under them, and released the air in his lungs. He paused, hesitating for just a second, before he drew in a breath, smaller than last time, and his eyes opened wide when his lungs didn't fill with water, like he'd expected, but rather with air. He let out a laugh, delighted, and took another breath, bigger than the last, elated when he didn't choke, but rather felt his chest expand with it. 

That's when he saw the figure floating a few meters away from him, looking at him with a mix of fear, confusion and awe. Their eyes met, and Hongjoong saw that same fear in them before the merman turned away and began swimming in the opposite direction, towards open sea.

“Wait!” he called, but his voice came out in a big bubble. The merman was still swimming away, and Hongjoong had the feeling, for some reason, that this would be the last chance he got to talk to him and thank him for saving his life.

So he did the only thing he could think of doing, and began to swim after him. 

It was rather foolish, because, for starters, the merman was designed to move underwater, and Hongjoong wasn’t, and for finishers, Hongjoong wasn’t that coordinated a swimmer, his strokes clumsy as he watched the merman get further and further away. It was stupid, but Hongjoong didn’t exactly have a record of doing intelligent things down by the sea, or in any other aspect of his life, to be fair.

“Wait!” ha called again, with all his forces, when the merman was almost out of sight. Hongjoong could barely see the bottom of the sea by now, and he started to feel the faintest bit of fear. “I don’t want to hurt you!”

He stopped, struggling to keep swimming as the current pushed against him, and let out a yelp when a particularly powerful wave sent him tumbling. Hongjoong panted, trying to stay put as the water tossed him around, and cursed himself for never learning. At least now he wasn’t drowning, but it wouldn’t be of much use if he couldn’t go back to the shore and did end up being some shark’s dinner. He tried to remember if there were any species of shark living in these waters when another wave sent him careening back and he collided with something solid.

His scream would have probably been ear splitting in the surface, but underwater it just manifested in a stream of bubbles that managed to make the trajectory he was failing to. He closed his eyes, curling in on himself and bracing for the worst when a pair of arms came under his and wrapped around his chest, and suddenly, he was being pulled upward with a strength that he could have never mustered. 

His head broke the surface and he immediately tried to get his arms to support himself, to no use, because the arms holding him were still wrapped in a tight hold.

“Can you stop moving?!” a voice said in his ear, and Hongjoong went very still, only then putting two and two together. He turned his head, twisting slightly in the other’s hold, and found those eyes again, dark and lined with thick lashes, staring down at him with disapproval this time. “Stay still!” the merman commanded, and Hongjoong registered that they were moving in the direction of the shore.

The merman held Hongjoong against his chest as he swam against the waves, and Hongjoong looked away from his face to focus on the outline of his tail under him, pitch black and with small white spots scattered around it. It almost looked like a night sky, and Hongjoong thought there was something ironically poetic about someone who had saved him twice having such a dark appearance.

“Why are you helping me?” he dared ask, and the merman gave a little grunt.

“Don’t speak,” he said, and Hongjoong shut up, letting himself be dragged like a ragdoll. He felt powerless, but for once, he welcomed the feeling of not having to fight to stay afloat. 

Soon, the water turned less dark, and Hongjoong could see the bottom of the sea again. He turned in the merman’s arms again and spoke up once more.

“I want to thank you before you run away from me again,” he said, in one breath. “For this, and for that other time. I would be dead if it weren’t for you.”

The merman didn’t look at him. “I should have let you drown.”

“But you didn’t,” Hongjoong said with a smile. “And I will never be able to thank you enough.” 

“Stop doing stupid things and making me have to save you and I’ll consider myself repaid,” the merman shot back, before stopping abruptly.

He released his hold from around Hongjoong, and he felt himself fall until his feet touched the ground, the water reaching just under his jaw. He turned to the merman fully, and was finally able to look at him properly. Hongjoong’s memory really didn’t do him justice, but then again, he’d only seen him for a handful of seconds, during which his brain had not been in the best condition. The merman's hair was as black as his tail, floating around him like a dark cloud, and his eyes were deeper than the waters he’d pulled Hongjoong from. His face and shoulders were splattered with small freckles all over, and his full lips were turned down in a frown as he stared at Hongjoong like he’d personally wronged him just for existing.

“I’m sorry?” he tried, face twisting into an apologetic grimace. “In my defense, you wouldn’t have had to save me this time if you hadn’t ran away and let me thank you.”

The merman let out a huff of air. “As if I would have let you come anywhere near me.”

Hongjoong gave him a look. “You’ve literally dragged me around twice.”

“That’s different!” the merman exclaimed, and Hongjoong watched, almost giddy, as some color appeared on his cheeks.

“Because I was dying?” Hongjoong asked gently. The merman made a face. “I thought merfolk couldn’t care less about a human life.”

The merman’s grimace grew. “Let’s just say not everyone I know would have saved you.”

Hongjoong had figured as much, that’s why he’d been so obsessed with finding him again, to ask him _why_. “And why did you?”

The merman’s shoulders hunched up. “I shouldn’t be talking to you,” he said, and he seemed to make a move to leave again.

“Wait!” Hongjoong reacted without thinking and reached out to grab his wrist. The merman’s eyes blew wide as he stared at Hongjoong with a mix of confusion and offense.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked, low, and Hongjoong had no doubt that he could break his arm in a heartbeat if he wanted.

“Don’t go,” Hongjoong pleaded, and something inside the merman’s eyes broke. “I’ve been looking for you all this time.”

“Why?” the merman questioned, eyes more terrified than angry, “What do you want?”

And Hongjoong smiled at him, glad that he’d asked. “Will you be my friend?”

Surprise colored the merman’s face, and he opened his mouth in a silent _o_. “What?”

“Be my friend,” Hongjoong said, with more conviction. “I’m terribly curious about you, and I wanna get to know you.”

“You’ve seen me _twice_ ,” the merman pointed out, clearly not buying Hongjoong’s proposal. He seemed to have forgotten about Hongjoong’s hand still holding his arm, and Hongjoong wasn’t going to point it out.

“Exactly! Let’s meet again! Tell me the way things work underwater! And I’ll show you the spells I come up with! Doesn’t that sound fun?” Hongjoong was practically bouncing with the prospect of it.

“How do I know this isn’t a trap and you’ll be waiting with me with a bunch of other men to cut me up into pieces?” the merman asked, and Hongjoong felt himself blanch at the mere idea of that.

“I would never do that!” he cried. “Is that what you think all humans are like?”

The merman pouted, looking away. “There’s stories…”

“Okay, then let’s make a new one! Have you heard of the tale of the merman who met a human witch and they became friends? I hear they would meet at the beach and exchange stories,” he pressed, and the merman looked up at him again, eyes a bit hopeful. “Don’t tell me that wouldn’t be a nice story.”

“I- I guess.”

Hongjoong smiled brightly at him, maybe they were making some progress. “So?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t play dumb!” he laughed, and distantly, worried whether he should be more cautious. All the books on merfolk warned about their imprevisible nature, of how they were never what they looked like, but Hongjoong looked at this merman in front of him, and all he could feel was a wave of honesty, of rightness, of _belonging_. And he’d learned to trust his instincts a long time ago. “Do you wanna be my friend?”

The merman looked at him for a long moment, during which Hongjoong started counting the freckles on his cheeks. “I suppose I could try.”

Hongjoong lit up. “Really?!”

“Y-yes?” the merman's cheeks dusted pink.

Hongjoong smiled so big his cheeks hurt. He would have clapped if he didn't need his hands to keep himself from floating away.

"That's so great!" he said instead, and then, "I'm Hongjoong, by the way."

The merman looked at him in surprise for a second. "Seonghwa."

 _Pretty_ , Hongjoong thought, but didn't say anything about it. 

"Well, Seonghwa," he tried the name out, and didn't miss the way the merman seemed to get more flustered. "Do you wanna hang out?"

Seonghwa's face scrunched in confusion. "Hang out?"

"You know, spend some time together?" Hongjoong explained.

"Oh!" Seonghwa exclaimed. "Why is it called that?"

Hongjoong let out a laugh. "No idea, to be honest."

"Weird," Seonghwa muttered, but followed Hongjoong when he started swimming to the rocks he'd laid him on that first time.

That marked the beginning of their friendship. 

It wasn't easy at first. They danced around each other, unsure about where the limits lay, of what to say, of what was too much. They slowly learned each other, in starts and stops, in a process of trial and error that sometimes wasn't pleasing, but that both of them tried to move forward.

Because Hongjoong was deeply curious of anything related to Seonghwa and merfolk, and Seonghwa found everything Hongjoong told him fascinating. He was very earnest, Hongjoong learnt, always with his heart on his sleeve, and asked questions in the gentle tone of someone who shouldn't feel as curious as they were, but couldn't help it.

And Hongjoong found out that Seonghwa was breaking quite a few rules by meeting him at the shore in the afternoons, and expressed his concern, but Seonghwa simply shook his head, telling him that it was worth it. Hongjoong went home feeling particularly warm that day, unable to stop smiling the entire time he prepared dinner.

That feeling only grew with time, along with their friendship, and Seonghwa started getting more comfortable around Hongjoong. He'd bring him things from the ocean that he thought Hongjoong would find interesting, and he'd listen enraptured and ask for demonstrations when Hongjoong told him about any new spells he was working on. Seonghwa liked learning about magic, even if he couldn't perform any himself, and Hongjoong was all too pleased to teach him all he knew, endeared by his enthusiasm.

Hongjoong would play with Seonghwa's hair, and the merman would let him braid it, telling him about how it was customary to have it long amongst merfolk, and how it was something many merpeople took pride on, but that it was mostly a bother to him.

"It's annoying and it gets tangled everywhere," he'd say. 

Hongjoong nodded, focused on the strands in his hands, and asked whether he'd considered cutting it.

"It would be outrageous," Seonghwa replied with a chuckle. "I don't think anyone has done it before."

"You could be a trendsetter," Hongjoong joked, looking at the braid he'd just finished proudly.

"Hm," Seonghwa hummed, turning around slightly to look at Hongjoong and the witch tilted his head at him in curiosity. "I must admit I like your hair."

Hongjoong felt himself grow hot. "What does that mean?"

"Would you cut my hair?" Seonghwa asked, and Hongjoong looked at him with wide eyes.

"For real?"

The merman nodded, smiling softly. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I want to try."

"I've never cut anyone's hair before, though," Hongjoong warned him. It had been close to a year since they'd become friends, and he was baffled that Seonghwa was trusting him with something like this.

Seonghwa smiled bigger at him, his eyes turning into small crescents. Everything about him reminded Hongjoong of the night sky, from his beautiful tail to his black hair and his dark eyes that still seemed to shine brighter than the stars, but it was in that moment that Hongjoong realized Seonghwa was probably the most entrancing creature he’d ever met.

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong forced himself out of his own thoughts. “I trust you.”

“Oh, o-okay,” he stammered, mortified by the fact that he could feel his own cheeks flaming. “I will try.”

Seonghwa’s smile could easily outshine the sun beginning to set behind him. “Thank you.”

The next day saw Hongjoong with a pair of kitchen scissors and a turmoil of nerves in his stomach.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked for the nth time, and Seonghwa just nodded and assured him it was okay, like he had every other time before. "What if I just cut a bit at first and then you see if you like it, and then-"

"Hongjoong," the merman interrupted him. Hongjoong had always thought there was something almost melodic about the way Seonghwa said his name, something about how he made each syllable ring in a way no one else could. "It will be fine. Just cut it all off."

Hongjoong let out a very long sigh. "Okay, come here." And, with Seonghwa sitting between his legs on the shore, the warm afternoon waves hitting his knees, he gathered all his hair with one hand, and brought the scissors to it with the other. "Ready?"

"Ready if you are," Seonghwa replied, easy as breathing. 

Hongjoong took a deep breath and cut the strands in his hand.

Slowly, strand by strand, Seonghwa's hair started falling around Hongjoong's fingers, black locks darker than the night sky falling like silk as he weaved his scissors through them. By the time he was done, he had a handful of long, black hair that was almost as long as his leg. He stared at it, mesmerized, for a second, before Seonghwa was shifting in front of him.

"Is it done?" the merman asked, and Hongjoong looked up from the hair in his hand to him. The rest of his hair was framing his face in a sort of uneven bob cut, the longest bits reaching just under his chin.

"Wow," Hongjoong breathed out, not even realizing he had. It was such a drastic change from the usual cascade of dark locks over his shoulders and back. It made him look younger, boyish, almost, and Hongjoong had the urge to tuck it behind his ear to see if it would stay there.

"That bad?" Seonghwa asked, bringing his hands up to touch his hair, and Hongjoong immediately tried to reassure him.

"No! No, it looks great! It's just very different," he told him, and Seonghwa nodded, pulling some strands behind his ear. They stuck there.

"I think this is the shortest my hair has been since I was four," he said, smiling giddily. "Is it bad that I like it?"

Hongjoong gave him a small laugh. "I mean, it was you who wanted it."

"Yeah," Seonghwa laughed too.

"You know, it would still be considered long for a human boy," Hongjoong informed him. Seonghwa turned his attention to him.

"Really? Do all human boys have it as short as you?" he asked, eyeing Hongjoong's hair, which had been rather short for quite a long time.

"Not really, most just wear it a bit longer, like this," he put a finger to his forehead to signal the length, "others just shave it all off." Seonghwa made a little surprised sound. "Some wear it long, too, like this, or even longer, like you had it before."

"They would be respected amongst merfolk," Seonghwa said, nodding seriously.

Something went off in Hongjoong's brain. "Does that mean you won't be?"

"Probably," Seonghwa conceded, shrugging. He didn't used to do that before meeting Hongjoong, but they were starting to pick up on each other's mannerisms. "I don't particularly care."

Hongjoong shook his head, albeit fondly. "You're such a handful."

"A handful of what?" Seonghwa asked, head tilting curiously to the side. 

Hongjoong blinked at him for a couple of seconds before smiling. "No, it means you're a lot to take in, or that you're difficult to handle."

"Oh," Seonghwa muttered. "Is that bad?"

"Not in this case," Hongjoong promised him. Seonghwa returned his smile.

"Okay!" he accepted it just like that, like most things Hongjoong told him. "Hongjoongie?"

Hongjoong felt his cheeks go warm at the fond appellative. "Yes?"

"Can you cut my hair short like yours?" Seonghwa questioned, staring at him with big, gentle eyes.

Hongjoong ran a hand through his undercut. "I would need another machine for that, but I can try to cut it as short as I can, how does that sound?"

"Good."

If bob cut Seonghwa had struck Hongjoong, it was nothing compared to the way his heart threatened to beat out of his chest when Seonghwa turned around with his short hair, bangs falling softly on his eyes that sparkled with all the stars in them. The short hair made the angles in his face look more pronounced, his cheekbones higher, his jaw sharper, but his smile was as sweet as ever, and his eyes were still filled with a gentle kindness that he was unable to hide.

"How does it look?" he asked, his face earnest and curious, and Hongjoong needed a second to collect his thoughts.

"N-nice, you look very good," he stuttered, afraid to do too much introspection on the feeling that was taking over his chest.

Seonghwa smiled so big that his eyes disappeared, little crinkles appearing beside them, and it hit Hongjoong, right then, just how beautiful he was. He was so taken aback by that though that he didn't even register Seonghwa moving until he suddenly had an armful of merman.

"Thank you so much," Seonghwa breathed against his ear. He smelled like the ocean, salty and sharp, and Hongjoong shivered slightly before bringing his arms up and hugging him back, calloused hands on soft skin.

"It's nothing," he muttered, and, feeling brave, buried his face in Seonghwa's shoulder, feeling his heart stampede in his chest.

They stayed like that for some time, holding each other silently, until the sun started to go down, and Seonghwa ushered Hongjoong home, telling him to eat and rest, like he always did. Hongjoong watched him swim away, no cloud of dark hair to accompany his dark tail, and felt something switch inside him.

San was waiting for him when he got home, long legs stretched out as he leaned against the kitchen door frame with his arms crossed. In human form, barely any of his cat traits remained, only the vertical pupils of his green eyes and the white stripe on his dark hair, and Hongjoong knew something was about to happen, because San almost never changed from his feline form.

"So you've gone and fallen for him, huh?" was the first thing he said, before Hongjoong even managed to say hi to him.

Hongjoong felt himself grow flustered, the tips of his ears burning. "W-what are you talking about?"

San rolled his eyes. "You always forget we're linked."

Right. Hongjoong had forgotten about that kind of emotional bond. Most times, San didn't even need to use it, he was good enough an empath to tell what Hongjoong was feeling, so he just ignored it, but when it came to strong emotions, he'd told Hongjoong, he sort of couldn't tune it out.

"I- what do I do, Sannie?" he asked, and his familiar just shook his head, pulling him into a hug. Hongjoong hated that he was taller than him in human form, but he had to admit it made his hugs all that more enjoyable.

"If you really like him, just tell him," he said against Hongjoong's hair. "But only if you're willing to commit to a relationship like that."

"That is assuming he likes me back," Hongjoong muttered, muffled by San's shirt.

The cat made a little sound. "Please. How could he not?"

That made Hongjoong laugh a bit. "You're too nice, kitty."

"I'm just telling the truth," San retorted, and Hongjoong could hear the pout in his voice. "Just think about it, okay? And tell him that if he breaks your heart, I'll go down there and fuck him up. And I will know if he does!"

Hongjoong laughed louder. "Like you'd ever get that close to the water."

San didn't contradict him.

That night, as he laid in his bed with San curled up at his feet, he thought about it. About what it would mean, to be in a relationship with Seonghwa. It was something he wanted, he realized, that he perhaps had wanted for a while, now, but that didn't make it any less difficult a decision.

Would it work? Or were they too different? Could Hongjoong bear knowing Seonghwa was down there in the vast ocean, doing Gods knew what, and that there would always be the possibility of him not returning to Hongjoong? Would he be able to survive only seeing Seonghwa a handful of hours each week, always feeling like time was against them?

He didn't know. But he knew he was willing to find out.

Because Seonghwa made him feel like no one else did, like anything could happen when he was with him, like he was invincible, as long as Seonghwa was beside him. And Hongjoong wanted to be with him all the time. He thought about what it would be like, holding Seonghwa’s hand, threading his fingers through his unruly hair, caressing the smooth skin of his freckle-covered cheeks, kissing his soft lips… He got stuck there, on the idea of Seonghwa’s gentle lips on his. He’d probably taste like the ocean, like salt and light, and Hongjoong felt dizzy just imagining it. 

He decided, then, that he would take the risk, because there were few things he wouldn’t do for Seonghwa, and he just hoped Seonghwa felt the same way about him too.

It seemed, though, that no sooner had Hongjoong decided to confess his feelings to Seonghwa, had the universe decided he wouldn’t get a chance to.

He woke up with a fever the next day, head pounding and limbs feeling like they were made of lead. He couldn’t even get out of bed without feeling like the floor was being stolen from under his feet, so dizzy he couldn’t even take two steps without collapsing. San went into full caregiver mode, preparing him hot teas and soups, running him a lukewarm bath when his fever spiked up on the second day, petting his sweat-damp hair and murmuring comforting nothings when he was too weak to do nothing but whimper pathetically.

Hongjoong spent a total of five days in bed, in and out of consciousness as San took care of him, and then two more days of imposed rest after, when San proclaimed he was still too weak to leave the house. All in all, Hongjoong went an entire week without going down to the cove, with the inability to tell Seonghwa why, and he was already fearing the worst when he stepped foot on the sand on the eighth day.

The water was warm when the first waves crashed against his feet, and he lost no time in walking into the ocean, eyes frantically searching the water around him. It was around the time Seonghwa and he would meet every afternoon, but there was no sign of the merman anywhere, and Hongjoong was starting to really worry.

The water reached up to his shoulders when he started to lose hope. Usually, Seonghwa would have come to find him already, a blur of a dark figure breaking the surface to reveal a blinding smile and pretty eyes. Now there was nothing, just water and the sun burning accusingly above him. Hongjoong felt his heart constrict in his chest. He’d fucked up. He’d done the one thing Seonghwa had always asked him not to do: he’d disappeared. Granted, it wasn’t on purpose, but Seonghwa had no way of knowing that. He sighed, ran a wet hand through his hair, and deflated, closing his eyes and getting ready to turn around, walk back to the mansion miserably, hide in his bed, and mourn the loss of something he’d never really had. 

That was when a force tackled him, making him lose his footing and fall backwards onto the sea.

Hongjoong’s first instinct was to scream, but whatever had charged at him had knocked all the air out of his lungs, so he only managed a wheeze before he was crashing into the waves, the weight of his assailant pushing him under quickly. He didn’t know what he’d expected to see when he opened his eyes, but it definitely wasn’t a head of short, black hair on his chest, and an expanse of sun-kissed skin underneath that gave way to a black tail covered in white spots that resembled the stars in the night sky.

Seonghwa had come to him.

The merman’s arms were wrapped tightly around his waist as he hid his face in Hongjoong’s chest, and Hongjoong immediately returned the embrace, his arms on Seonghwa’s shoulders as his hands buried in the merman’s hair. Seonghwa’s head shot up, eyes meeting Hongjoong’s, and the witch felt his heart somersault in his chest when Seonghwa’s dark, beautiful eyes locked on his and didn’t let them go.

“I’m sorry,” Hongjoong told him, but the words came out in two bubbles that floated upwards. His spell still didn’t allow him to talk underwater. Seonghwa seemed to understand him, though, because his face grew sad, and he hid it in Hongjoong’s shirt again.

Hongjoong gently coaxed them upwards, until they were floating in a more vertical position, and he let his body wrap around Seonghwa’s, legs coming around his waist as he rested his cheek on the merman’s head and held him close. Gods, Hongjoong had missed the feeling of Seonghwa close to him. Seonghwa’s arms wrapped around him in a vice tight grip and they just floated like that for a while, neither of them eager to let go of the other.

When they finally emerged, they separated only minimally, just enough to talk, so that Hongjoong could explain himself.

“... and then Sannie didn’t let me leave for another two days,” he said, hands threading through Seonghwa’s hair. Now that he had started touching him, he couldn’t stop, but Seonghwa didn’t seem to mind. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.

Seonghwa shook his head, his hands bunching the fabric of Hongjoong’s shirt. “Don’t apologize,” he cajoled. “It’s not something you could control.”

Hongjoong’s finger traced his ear, delicate and slightly pointed. “I know, but I still felt like shit for not being able to tell you.”

“At least you’re okay,” Seonghwa told him, eyes big and earnest and beautiful. “I was so scared that something had happened to you.”

“I’m sorry you had to worry,” Hongjoong said, pushing his bangs away from his eyes.

“It’s all good now,” Seonghwa reassured him, and smiled one of his gorgeous boxy smiles. “You’re okay and here, and that’s enough.”

“Seonghwa?” Hongjoong muttered, telling himself it was now or never. He would never get a better opportunity than this. “I wanted to tell you something.”

The merman’s eyes twinkled with curiosity. “Yes?”

Hongjoong cupped his face with his hands and looked down into his eyes. “These past days, but also before that, I’ve been thinking about it, and I wanted to tell you,” he breathed. Seonghwa’s lips were slightly parted as he hung onto every word Hongjoong said, and Hongjoong had never felt about anyone the way he felt about Seonghwa. “I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Seonghwa’s eyes blew open, and so did his lips, parting in a big, surprised, “Oh.”

Hongjoong immediately started to justify himself. “I just thought I would let you know, because you deserve to. It doesn’t have to change anything, I’m happy just having you by my side, in whichever capacity you’ll allow. If you want to just be friends, I can do that, and I promise it won’t hurt me in the slightest,” he said in one breath. Seonghwa was still looking at him in awe. “But if you wanted to try something different, if you wanted to go further, I’d be honored if you let me love you, Seonghwa.”

He closed his mouth, his breathing feeling a bit uneven as his heart hammered in his chest, and looked at Seonghwa, waiting for him to say something. The merman was looking at him like it was the first time he saw Hongjoong, eyes wide and dark, and Hongjoong was a bit afraid he’d overdone it, but Seonghwa hadn’t pushed him away yet, so he let himself harbor the tiniest spark of hope in his chest.

Eventually, Seonghwa took a deep breath and spoke.

“Please tell me you’re very serious about this,” he said, voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. “Because I’ll kill you if you’re not.”

Hongjoong chuckled, slightly choked up. “I’m serious,” he promised. “I love you, and I’d like to spend the rest of my days doing so, if you’ll allow it.”

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa breathed, the name not unlike a plea. “You're all I've wanted for so long."

Hongjoong let out a wet laugh as the first tear ran down his cheek. "That's good to hear."

Seonghwa shook his head at him, smiling as bright as the stars. There were also tears falling down his cheeks, and Hongjoong wiped them away with his thumbs.

"I love you," he said, and Hongjoong felt like he could die just hearing those words come out of his mouth.

"Can I kiss you?" he questioned, looking down at Seonghwa in adoration.

"No one has ever done that," Seonghwa replied, and Hongjoong felt like he'd been struck in the chest. 

"Will you let me be the first, then?" he asked. Seonghwa nodded, eyes shining.

"Please."

Hongjoong breathed in, trying to convince himself that this was really happening, and he leaned down slowly, gently tilting Seonghwa's face with his hands until their lips met softly.

He had been right. Not only were Seonghwa's lips the softest thing Hongjoong had ever felt, they also tasted like salt when he moved them against Hongjoong's, gentle and clumsy, but so sweet Hongjoong thought he would cry again. Seonghwa held him tightly, hands fisting the fabric of his shirt as Hongjoong kissed him soft and unhurried, trying to savour as much of the moment as he could.

When they parted, lips dragging together and breaths intermingling, Hongjoong rested his forehead on Seonghwa's, out of breath and feeling like his veins were full of light.

"That was the best kiss I've ever had," Seonghwa muttered, and Hongjoong couldn't help but laugh.

"Idiot," he chastised. "It was the only kiss you've ever had."

"Hmm," Seonghwa reasoned. "Then why don't you change that?"

Hongjoong laughed again, feeling invincible, and reconnected their lips.

When Hongjoong came back home that evening to San's smug smile, he felt like his heart was no longer with him, but waiting for him down by the shore. That idea didn't scare him, though, because he knew it was in the hands of the most beautiful, caring, and lovely creature he'd ever met, and because he knew he now held that creature's heart, and he planned on doing so for a long, long time.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, and please sign, donate, and participate in whatever capacity you can!


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